Menus, Poems, Fairytales, and More -------------------- Stories authored randomly from CFGs An edited collection CS 313, September 2021 =================================================================== Abigail Wright and Eli Biltech Welcome to the famous Proctor dining hall! We unwillingly present this weekend's menu: Friday: HOT MEALS warm barbecued beef sushi with warm stinky sausage quiche and spicy chicken sandwich DRINKS hot lemon smoothie and rich hazelnut smoothie DESSERT apple cheesecake and piping hot poppy seed mousse Saturday: HOT MEALS refreshing beef over rice with cold sour tofu quiche and creamy buffalo chicken stir fry DRINKS rich vanilla tea and rich hazelnut Mountain Dew DESSERT caramel cupcakes and peanut butter cake Sunday: HOT MEALS piping hot creamy pork bisque with spicy stinky shrimp pasta and spicy steamed chicken pasta DRINKS hot hazelnut water and chai tea DESSERT piping hot chocolate bars and cake We hope you enjoy! =================================================================== Sammy Dubner and Maddie Van Beek " Old " As she gnawed, he wheezed One nose shamed on one soft house The prince graced a nun =================================================================== Walker Frankenberg It was a fantastic, dreary night on the Middlebury campus. The cheery clock had just chimed 3:00. The student body was super fantastic about the upcoming Party being held in 75 Shannon Street. Roused by an email from Professor Andrews, students began to cartwheel towards the event. When I was walking there, I couldn't believe my feet! There were pillowcases falling on Professor Andrews's hat! Luckily, Laurie Patton was there to play, which made the event a great success. =================================================================== Hannah Sullivan and Issy Cochran once upon a time there was a mean queen named issy who ruled over a far away kingdom called burlington . one day in the far away kingdom, issy walked over lake champlain . professor scharstein flew by bi hall , and the witch flew to davis . all of the people in the far away kingdom mourned this mean day . and they all lived magically ever after . once upon a time there was a smiley princess named hannah who ruled over a far away kingdom called vermont . one day in the far away kingdom, the witch danced with a cake . hannah talked to a broom , and the dwarf went by church street . all of the people in the far away kingdom mourned this magical day . the end . once upon a time there was a mean king named professor scharstein who ruled over a far away kingdom called middlebury college . one day in the far away kingdom, a dwarf sang a song to the frog . a peasant cleaned the door . hannah kissed the snail , and the peasant sang a song to the broom . all of the people in the far away kingdom celebrated this smart day . and they all lived magically ever after . =================================================================== Ryan Opiela-Young Now introducing: Biomatic (tm)! Jam-packed with the power of light, it has the ability to learn and evolve, the ability to melt jungle cats, and much much more! And don't forget that it can read minds! Call 128-304-8478 for more information! Life isn't complete without a Magnamodamatic (patent pending)! It uses the power of clothing to read minds! And don't forget about its gyroscope! Call 026-366-9575 for more information! Have you heard of the Omnititanitron (patent pending)? It uses the power of dark matter to manipulate time! And don't forget that it can combine water with uranium! Buy one today for the low low price of $646.99 (plus processing and handling)! Introducing the new Flexiconstructicron (patent pending)! Among its 29 incredible features, it has the ability to move on its own! It even has a fog machine! Don't wait, buy it now! Introducing the new Magnacollapsiplex (tm)! Jam-packed with the power of rainbows, it has the ability to turn dark matter into water! And don't forget that it can turn rainbows into dragons! Get it now for just $306 (plus processing and handling)! Now introducing: Magnamatic (patent pending)! Our proprietary technology enables it to defy gravity! And don't forget about its container full of lightning! Buy one today for the low low price of $117.99 (plus processing and handling)! Now introducing: Ultrameter (tm)! It has a whopping 17 features, including a laser saw, a external monitor, and much much more! And don't forget about its LCD display! Get it now for just $785! =================================================================== Catie Cassani and Magnolia Moskun Example MarioKart race recaps created by our program. Dry Bones swerved in the slippery Classic Dragster on fast Bowser's Castle. Powerful Donkey Kong competed in the scary jump in powerful Rainbow Road! Daisy swerved in a powerful Classic Dragster on competitive Delfino Square. Wahoo! Fast Bowser Jr lost on a powerful Sugarscoot in fast Rainbow Road! Toad won away from the shiny banana away from fast Mushroom Gorge. Scary Dry Bones finished in a scary jump away from competitive Rainbow Road! Wahoo! Competitive Yoshi lost on the belligerent Bullet Bike away from shiny Bowser's Castle! Slippery Luigi jumped away from a banana away from shiny Peach Gardens! Scary Mario swerved on the slippery Wild Wing on treacherous Bowser's Castle. Wahoo! =================================================================== Cater Wang According to Shannon, pretending to work hard improves your digestive process. In this paper, I defend that view. To do this, I first argue that reading philosophy improves your baldness. Then, it is argued that pretending to work hard is good for your intelligence. Finally, if these are true, it should be clear that my position is foobar. =================================================================== Assadou Nzigamasabo Mistaken Order what do I want you want the soup I CANNOT HANDLE THE SOUP did I order them well, you see ... DID I ORDER THEM you are goddamn right you did =================================================================== Wayne Wang It was a acoustic and level night in the year of 1991 in Laos. healthy Pete woke up in the middle of the night to a "pow" noise. they sprinted towards the garage just to find out lovely Pete also just ran to garage to find out about the noise. Suddenly all lights went out. They saw a courageous figure approaching them, step by step. They were so scared as they knew that lately mallicious Scharstein was shaved by courageous Christman in the garage. In desparate, healthy Pete used a silky lamp and pointed the light at the figure. pow! It was mallicious Andrews holding a silky toy soldier. =================================================================== Smith Gakuya A sunny day in Middlesburg college, students are asked to repeat after teacher Scene: Advanced English Course, ENG 4000 Prof. Genius: the laser gun kissed a smelly hairy leg, therefore a vile laser gun smacked a up-to-no-good laser gun, thus a offensive president sweet-talked a vile skateboarder. a fantastic justice league kissed a up-to-no-good hairy leg, the hairless dorm smacked a horrible president. Eng Students: the fantastic dorm loved a vile tiktoker, and a up-to-no-good justice league fought a fantastic skateboarder, because the fantastic pizza girl kissed a smelly laser gun, and a justice league fried the drunk justice league, thus a hairy leg ate a smelly justice league. Prof. Genius: the smelly skateboarder fought the offensive strawberry shortcake. Eng Students: a drunk laser gun dropped a offensive dorm. Prof. Genius: a smelly president fried a bootylicious justice league, and the offensive justice league smacked a hairless dorm. Eng Students: a drunk dorm sweet-talked the vile pizza girl, the horrible dorm stole a up-to-no-good skateboarder. Prof. Genius: a dorm killed a fantastic pizza girl, then the smelly flat-earther fried a smelly laser gun, the fantastic justice league sweet-talked the flat-earther. Eng Students: a vile dorm stole a offensive skateboarder, because the skateboarder stole the horrible president, and a vile laser gun sweet-talked a bootylicious dorm. Prof. Genius: a up-to-no-good laser gun fried the bootylicious skateboarder, hence a up-to-no-good tiktoker sweet-talked a vile president, because a smelly tiktoker smacked the skateboarder, afterwards the fantastic flat-earther stole a vile strawberry shortcake. Eng Students: the smelly flat-earther sweet-talked the laser gun, a fantastic pizza girl loved a bootylicious laser gun, hence a bootylicious pizza girl ate the drunk pizza girl, thus the bootylicious tiktoker loved a horrible strawberry shortcake. =================================================================== Jacob Fields and Danielle Newberry Once upon a time, the creamy spinach coughed. what the bunion! a waffle coughed that shiny fez. that shiny spinach snorted an sizzling mustache. an sizzling fez coughed a sizzling hippopotamus. what the cacophony! Where did an creamy octopus blend? The end. Once upon a time, that hippopotamus gobbled. Why did the sizzling panini sniff? what a hullabaloo! an chunky hippopotamus leaped the creamy waffle. that vile octopus coughed. the green mustache chugged an creamy hippopotamus. Why did a creamy hippopotamus blend? an creamy chauffeur coughed. Oh my bunion! a sizzling fez chundered an sizzling octopus. Oh my bunion! The end. Once upon a time, that chunky elf gobbled an green fez. Where did that shiny blister smash? Oh my hooligan! Oh my bunion! Why did an dank mustache blend? The end. =================================================================== Noel Anderson The fire was dark. Timothy the draft horse was marcheing. He needed to marche. But the luminescent clock was going to be a shitty obstacle: The clock was Loud. He killed, it was a mistake. It was dark. Gandolf the wizard was in a pigeon. He had to get Dell computers. But the miniature toad was going to be a dark problem. He died, it was a mistake. The avalanche was fearsome. Brad the pigeon was cracking. He needed to kill. But the megalomaniacal slime mold was going to be a luminescent obstacle. It was luminescent. He slipped, it was a mistake. Timothy the clock was in a mountain. He needed to get a hold of pigeons. But the golden fire was going to be a discreetly golden obstacle. It was long He cracked, it was a glistening mistake. =================================================================== Peter Hansen and Rohan Datar the interesting armchair by Barrack "the stupid" Lincoln the cute woman stabs a hairy man. a bad woman shouts at the smelly woman. the smelly floor stabs the smelly woman. a hairy armchair shouts at the hairy fire. a cute man flirts with a handsome chalkboard. a smelly fire grabs the stupid child. the hairy man hugs a smelly woman. a hairy man dances with the hairy child. a smelly floor dances with the hairy woman. the interesting chalkboard stabs a mysterious floor. ================================================================= Aska Matsuda and Sam de Wolf He swam at a wall and she dove at the locker room. A fast coach ran to a meet and I swam into a locker room. A talented teammate agressively swam at a pool. A fast swimmer dove at a locker room and I dove into a locker room. He dove bravely. =================================================================== Griffin Pizzano and John Pettengill Once upon a time at Sabai Sabai There was a purple Johnk that was feeling very purple. Borat saw Johnk and decided to time travel with them. Borat decided to grab their cowboy hat and run to Kazakhstan so that Johnk would be hairy. The end =================================================================== Joseph Spada and Kyle McFetridge the comical megalodon defied a fake seahorse . a comical donkey talked to the worthless sea sponge . the cute duck challenged the cute cow . a fake blobfish fought a fake mososaurus . Joe challenged the fake barn cat . The end. =================================================================== Paul Ruffolo On a brisk summer morning, her friend threw their coffee. This seemed strange to them, so, trying to investigate what was wrong, your backpack crushed your black potted plant . Unfortunately, his backpack quickly stole our backpack , which was a major road block for them. Fortunately, our boring truck crushed a coffee. In the end, they all lived happily ever after . =================================================================== Sam Chester and Katelyn Peace a tasteless poison drop the beautiful lettuce . the teenie-weenie lettuce ate a beautiful toothbrush . the lumpy lettuce swim a sticky lettuce . =================================================================== William Wolf and Lizzie Kenter a saucy Ferrari yeeted the beautiful Pete's office . the valiant object-oriented programming rode the spicy person . a graceful Playstation Controller hit the ambiguous Paris . the end .